Jesus Christ

I've believed in God for awhile now but it's only been recently that I've started to believe in Jesus Christ as the Son of God as opposed to just a prophet or a spiritual leader. The change came about from reading the following passage in Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.

[Now] comes the real shock. Among these Jews there suddenly turns up a man who goes about talking as if He was God. He claims to forgive sins. He says He has always existed. He says He is coming to judge the world at the end of time. Now let us get this clear. Among Pantheists, like the Indians, anyone might say that he was part of God, or one with God; there would be nothing very odd about it. But this man, since He was a Jew, could not mean that kind of God. God, in their language, meant the Being outside the world Who had made it and was infinitely different from anything else. And when you have grasped that, you will see that what this man said was, quite simply, the most shocking thing that has ever been uttered by human lips.

One part of the claim tends to slip past us unnoticed because we have heard it so often that we no longer see what it amounts to. I mean the claim to forgive sins: any sins. Now unless the speaker is God, this is really so preposterous as to be comic. We can all understand how a man forgives offences against himself. You tread on my toe and I forgive you, you steal my money and I forgive you. But what should we make of a man, himself unrobbed and untrodden on, who announced that he forgave you for treading on other men's toes and stealing other men's money? Asinine fatuity is the kindest description we should give of his conduct. Yet this is what Jesus did. He told people that their sins were forgiven, and never waited to consult all the other people whom their sins had undoubtedly injured. He unhestitatingly behaved as if He was the party chiefly concerned, the person chiefly offended in all offences. This makes sense only if He really was God whose laws were broken and whose love is wounded in every sin. In the mouth of any speaker who is not God, these words would imply what I can only regard as a silliness and conceit unrivalled by any other character in history.

Yet (and this is the strange, significant thing) even His enemies, when they read the Gospels, do not usually get the impression of silliness and conceit. Still less do unpredudiced readers. Christ says that He is "humble and meek" and we believe Him; not noticing that, if He were merely a man, humility and meekness are the very last characteristics we could attribute to some of His sayings.

I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God." That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg - or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God; or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronising nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.

Seems like sound logic to me. Now, the more interesting question is what are all the implications of taking that step from not fully believing in Jesus Christ to believing in Jesus Christ? What about the Atonement? What about the Resurrection? What about the Godhead?

Falling on grenades

I was talking with my brother-in-law DE last night and he made a useful analogy regarding the Atonement. Specifically, he was talking about soldiers who go into battle and find themselves in situations where someone sacrifices themselves to protect the rest of their troop - specifically falling on a live grenade to shield others from the explosion. He talked about the soldiers who survive that experience - the fact that they're glad to be alive but also how they now have a debt they can never fully repay to their fallen comrade. That simple analogy really helped me connect with the concept of the Atonement (thanks DE!). Perhaps others will also find it helpful.

Update (10/7/07): One other thing I found useful about that conversation is that we discussed the fact that there are many situations in which I would be willing to lay down my life (or endure suffering) but comparatively fewer situations in which I'd be willing to sacrifice one of my sons' lives - as God did with his Son.

Update (10/24/07): Since I got asked about this the other day, let me quickly point out that I'm not saying here that this is everything there is to say about the Atonement. All I'm saying is that this analogy was one way that I was able to viscerally connect with the concept of the Atonement in a way I wasn't able to in the past.

Alma 22

My sister-in-law BE suggested that I read Alma 22 in the Book of Mormon. She said it's one of her favorites and it wasn't on the list that had been suggested to me. Checked it out but it didn't resonate as much with me (at least right now) as Alma 32 (see prior post). There was one part, however, that did stand out:

15 And it came to pass that after Aaron had expounded these things unto him, the king said: What shall I do that I may have this eternal life of which thou hast spoken? Yea, what shall I do that I may be born of God, having this wicked spirit rooted out of my breast, and receive his Spirit, that I may be filled with joy, that I may not be cast off at the last day? Behold, said he, I will give up all that I possess, yea, I will forsake my kingdom, that I may receive this great joy.
16 But Aaron said unto him: If thou desirest this thing, if thou wilt bow down before God, yea, if thou wilt repent of all thy sins, and will bow down before God, and call on his name in faith, believing that ye shall receive, then shalt thou receive the hope which thou desirest.

Bowing down before God is certainly one of my challenges at the moment (see prior post) so I certainly have a lot of growth to go before I "may be born of God, having this wicked spirit rooted out of my breast, and receive his Spirit, that I may be filled with joy, that I may not be cast off at the last day."

James 1:5 and Proverbs 3:5-6

A new friend of mine SJ recommended that I read James 1:5 and Proverbs 3:5-6 (in addition to a number of other passages of the Bible). For those of you not familiar with James 1:5, here it is:

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

That is the NIV version (according to BibleGateway.com). The King James Version (again, according to BibleGateway.com) is:

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

And the version in my NRSV HarperCollins Study Bible is:

If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you.

So all three versions say basically the same thing (if you lack wisdom, ask God and he'll give it to you) but, as an aside, I do find it interesting sometimes how much passages can vary from one translation of the Bible to another.

For those of you who don't have Proverbs 3:5-6 committed to memory, here is the NIV version:

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Here again, the gist is that we should look to God for understanding (wisdom) and trust that he'll keep us on the right path.

On some level, life isn't so complicated if you're willing to trust in God and look to him for guidance rather than thinking we're in control. I suppose that's a no-brainer for a lot of people but both of these passages got me thinking - especially since it's hard for me to ask God for guidance (even though I've basically accepted at this point that my life is part of His plan and that all of the things that happen in my life both good and bad are largely due to that plan).

Update (9/23/07): One similiar scripture from JW: Doctrine and Covenants 112:10 "Be thou humble and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers."

Investigating the LDS Church

Interesting example (from my perspective) of things happening for a reason. Two weeks ago, I decided to set a weight loss goal of fitting into a pair of size 33 jeans. In the course of writing that post, it made me think of a statement my brother-in-law had made and I decided to also set a goal of deciding what I want to do with organized religion. But the religion goal was almost entirely "oh by the way" compared to the weight loss goal. Then, a couple of hours later, a friend of mine innocently posts a comment on my blog asking me "what [I] hope to get out of organized religion?" A fair enough question. That got me thinking about why I'd potentially want to take things to the next level with organized religion. In the course of thinking about this question, two things came to mind: (1) community and (2) eternal families. Regarding community, I've read in a couple of different places (like this article on ExploreFaith.org) that a relationship with God can most richly be experienced in a community of like-minded believers. Conversely, everyone being too like-minded can also be a problem (see this past post) but I think there's something to be said for community. Regarding eternal families, I've always felt that my relationship with my wife and kids would transcend this world - or at least I'd like to believe it will.

Now, I was planning to send my friend an email with this explanation (and possible post it on my blog) but decided to go looking for an explanation of eternal families that I could share with him. I figured it would be easy to find and I'd be done in 5-10 minutes. Since I knew the LDS Church believed in this concept, I decided to look there. At the time, I wasn't aware that the LDS Church has a monopoly (so to speak) on this belief. At any rate, I figured there would be a page on the LDS web site that succinctly summarized this belief. After viewing a bunch of videos and reading a bunch of pages, I surprisingly couldn't find what I was looking for. The concept was mentioned in multiple spots but there was nothing that would summarize the concept for someone not familiar with the rest of the LDS beliefs.

Now, here's the interesting thing. In the cause of looking for this phantom page, I did come across a page that included a quote from the Book of Mormon: “And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost?” (Moroni 10:4).

In one of my earliest posts (link), I mentioned the following experience:

My belief in God actually happened quite suddenly when I was 19. My wife (then girlfriend) and her family are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints – the Mormon Church as it’s more commonly referred to. As my wife’s sister was preparing for her mission to Chile, I began talking to her about religion in general and the Mormon faith in particular. Specifically, I asked her how someone goes from not believing in God to believing. Her simple answer to that question is that you pray about it – you read a particular faith’s doctrinal materials (e.g., the Bible) and ask God whether that faith is “true”. So, that’s what I did. One night I read portions of the Book of Mormon and kneeled down by my bed to pray about it. At first, my mind was very chaotic and I couldn’t focus on what I wanted to say to God. But, moments later, my mind become very clear and I felt peaceful. The feeling didn’t last long and I wasn’t “saying” anything at the time, but that brief moment solidified my belief in God. My interest in God had been growing over time and there were certainly seeds planted prior to this, but that one moment, that feeling of peace was the tipping point.

Ironically, the moment that solidified my belief in God in general did not solidify my belief in the Mormon Church in particular – although the genesis of that pivotal prayer was reading the Book of Mormon. At the time, I was simply seeking the existence of God – something larger than myself. I wasn’t ready for more than that and God didn’t proactively offer it up.

In reality, the question that I asked God that night wasn't "do you exist?" but "is this true?" (after reading the passage of the Book of Mormon above). For a whole variety of reasons (that I won't get into), I've applied revisionist history to that event since an answer to the latter question has farther reaching implications than the former.

So, here I am. In the course of about eight hours, I decide to buy some skinny jeans, set a "by the way" religion goal, a friend of mine asks me an innocent question, I go looking for a simple explanation, don't find it, get reminded of an experience 14 years ago, and view the significance of that experience through a new set of eyes. It's hard for me to believe that's a random set of events.

Now, you might ask the question "if you're sure you had this experience 14 years ago, why aren't you rushing out and getting baptized as quickly as possible?" and that's also a fair question. One answer is "it's already been 14 years, what's another couple of months?" Another answer is "this happened 14 years ago so let's not be too hasty about what it means". That being said, I am taking it seriously and trying to decide for myself what it means for me.

In terms of investigating the LDS Church, one person I spoke with suggested that I begin with the following sections of the Book of Mormon:

Introduction
2 Nephi -- Chapters 2, 31, 32, 33
Mosiah -- Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 15, 16, 18
Alma -- Chapters 5, 7, 32, 34, 36, 37, 41
3 Nephi -- Chapters 1, 11, 18, 19, 27
Ether Chapter 12
Moroni Chapter 10

If there are others people would suggest, please post a comment or send me an email directly. Also, I mentioned to this same person that I've never personally connected with any of the Mormon missionaries I've met in the past. When I asked if there is a "self-study" version of the missionary lesson, the person suggested Preach My Gospel (one of the manuals that missionaries use). My sister-in-law HG let me borrow her copy and I've read the whole thing (except the chapters on time management and finding people).

So, there you have it. We'll see where this investigation leads but that's the "back story" for those who are interested.

Alma 32

JW read my previous post regarding faith and the scientific method and suggested that I read Alma 32 in the Book of Mormon. Specifically, the following passages parallel what I discussed in my post (although the entire chapter is good):

26 Now, as I said concerning faith—that it was not a perfect knowledge—even so it is with my words. Ye cannot know of their surety at first, unto perfection, any more than faith is a perfect knowledge.
27 But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.
28 Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.
29 Now behold, would not this increase your faith? I say unto you, Yea; nevertheless it hath not grown up to a perfect knowledge.
30 But behold, as the seed swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, then you must needs say that the seed is good; for behold it swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow. And now, behold, will not this strengthen your faith? Yea, it will strengthen your faith: for ye will say I know that this is a good seed; for behold it sprouteth and beginneth to grow.
31 And now, behold, are ye sure that this is a good seed? I say unto you, Yea; for every seed bringeth forth unto its own likeness.
32 Therefore, if a seed groweth it is good, but if it groweth not, behold it is not good, therefore it is cast away.
33 And now, behold, because ye have tried the experiment, and planted the seed, and it swelleth and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, ye must needs know that the seed is good.
34 And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant; and this because you know, for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth begin to be enlightened, and your mind doth begin to expand.
35 O then, is not this real? I say unto you, Yea, because it is light; and whatsoever is light, is good, because it is discernible, therefore ye must know that it is good; and now behold, after ye have tasted this light is your knowledge perfect?
36 Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither must ye lay aside your faith, for ye have only exercised your faith to plant the seed that ye might try the experiment to know if the seed was good.

I really like this passage as I think it can be applied to an investigation of any particular faith, not just the LDS Church. I especially like Alma 32:27 ("But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words"). I certainly have a desire to believe and have more than a particle of faith. So I'll hold on to that, conduct the experiment, and see where it leads me.

Faith and the Scientific Method

I'm a big fan of the scientific method and try to apply this methodology as much as possible in my life. For those of not entirely familiar with this approach, here is a brief description from Wikipedia:

Scientific method is a body of techniques for investigating phenomena, acquiring new knowledge, or correcting and integrating previous knowledge. It is based on gathering observable, empirical and measurable evidence subject to specific principles of reasoning,[1] the collection of data through observation and experimentation, and the formulation and testing of hypotheses.[2]

Although procedures vary from one field of inquiry to another, identifiable features distinguish scientific inquiry from other methodologies of knowledge. Scientific researchers propose hypotheses as explanations of phenomena, and design experimental studies to test these hypotheses. These steps must be repeatable in order to predict dependably any future results. Theories that encompass wider domains of inquiry may bind many hypotheses together in a coherent structure. This in turn may help form new hypotheses or place groups of hypotheses into context.

Among other facets shared by the various fields of inquiry is the conviction that the process must be objective to reduce a biased interpretation of the results. Another basic expectation is to document, archive and share all data and methodology so it is available for careful scrutiny by other scientists, thereby allowing other researchers the opportunity to verify results by attempting to reproduce them. This practice, called full disclosure, also allows statistical measures of the reliability of these data to be established.

The approach can be summarized in these seven steps:

1. Define the question
2. Gather information and resources
3. Form hypothesis
4. Perform experiment and collect data
5. Analyze data
6. Interpret data and draw conclusions that serve as a starting point for new hypotheses
7. Publish results

This morning, I was thinking that there's no reason you couldn't apply this same approach to exploring questions of faith. The real difference is that prayer and personal revelation would serve as the experiment and experimental data - thus limiting the generalization of the results to others and the ability for others to indepently reproduce and verify the results. But, in the case of faith, all that matters (in my opinion) is personal belief in the results. The other thing that's important to keep in mind is that the experiment only worked "in your hands" and that similar results should not necessarily be expected in others' hands (i.e., if someone else were to follow the same procedure and prayer, they may not receive the same personal revelation or may even receive contradictory results). Therefore, it is important to limit the intepretation of the results to one's own (personal) faith and not feel threatened if others have faith in different beliefs. Otherwise, the seven steps above can be applied iteratively to arrive at one's own world view and belief system.

Note: the obvious flaw in this logic arises if you believe that everyone should have the exact same world view and belief system but I don't personally believe that.

YRG

I've known a bunch of people who are into yoga and I've tried it a couple of times myself but I just couldn't get into it. Awhile back, I saw an article on the Weight Watchers site regarding the YRG Workout. YRG stands for Yoga for Regular Guys and it was developed by former pro wrestler Diamond Dallas Page (DDP). I was intrigued enough to order the DVD but I was worried it would probably be a waste of money. Thankfully it's turned out to be the real deal. The workout is intense (I'm seriously tired and sweaty by the end) and DDP brings a cool personality/edge to the program. His approach definitely makes yoga much more enjoyable and accessible to "regular guys". I've done the workout about three or four times now and each time I tell myself I should do it more often. Perhaps it will turn into my secret weapon for fitting into my skinny jeans. =)

33

I turned 33 just over two months ago. As many of may recall, I set a goal to reach a weight of 195 pounds by that birthday and barely made it (see post). I also signed up for Weight Watchers Online (see post) but I haven't really gotten into it. So I was trying to think of some new weight loss goal and decided to go with the "skinny jeans" approach rather than the "pick a target weight" approach. Toward that end, I bought a pair of size 33 jeans the other day. The jeans are a bit on the pricey side (ok, more than a bit) but I picked this brand since they also have a line of jeans based on my favorite HBO show Entourage. The pair of jeans I bought isn't from that line (since I didn't like any of the colors / styles) but that's how I ended up with this company. I suppose the other side-benefit of the jeans being expensive is that it will provide additional motivation to fit into them so I can get some use out of the investment. As many of you might know, it's hard for me to spend money on clothes. Just doesn't seem like the best use of money relative to other investment options.

In terms of how much of a "sketch goal" this is, I have a pair of 36-waist jeans and they're very baggy. I also have a pair of 35-waist jeans that fit but also have a bit of room in them. My best guess is that I'm a size 34 1/2 right now. So getting into a size 33 pair of jeans would represent going down roughly 1.5 to 2 pant sizes. The size 33 also have the nice coincidence of being the same number as my age - I love little symbolic connections like that. =)

Speaking of symbolic connections, I figure I'll set one more goal while I'm at it. Before I turn 34 next year, I'd like to figure out what I'm doing with organized religion. After this past birthday, my brother-in-law said to me: "did you know that Jesus was crucified when he was 33?" At the time, I said to myself that was a sign I should go the next step and try to figure things out further. But then I put the thought out of my mind. But it has lingered long enough that I think I need to do something about it. Not exactly sure what the "exit criteria" are for this goal but I'll figure it out as I go. If I were going to "affiliate" with a particular organized religion at this point, it would probably be the LDS Church but that's certainly not a given at this stage of the game.

I suppose if all goes well I'll be wearing my skinny jeans to a church function sometime in the next 10 months. =)

The Most-Praised Generation Goes to Work

There was a WSJ article back in April that I had told my wife about regarding how "uber-stroked kids are reaching adulthood -- and now their bosses (and spouses) have to deal with them" (see PDF for those of you without an online WSJ subscription). At the time I was too busy to blog about this so I read the article and simply set it aside. But my wife asked me about it the other day so I tracked down the article again. Here are some excerpts:

You, You, You -- you really are special, you are! You've got everything going for you. You're attractive, witty, brilliant. "Gifted" is the word that comes to mind. Childhood in recent decades has been defined by such stroking -- by parents who see their job as building self-esteem, by soccer coaches who give every player a trophy, by schools that used to name one "student of the month" and these days name 40. Now, as this greatest generation grows up, the culture of praise is reaching deeply into the adult world. Bosses, professors and mates are feeling the need to lavish praise on young adults, particularly twentysomethings, or else see them wither under an unfamiliar compliment deficit...

Certainly, there are benefits to building confidence and showing attention. But some researchers suggest that inappropriate kudos are turning too many adults into narcissistic praise-junkies. The upshot: A lot of today's young adults feel insecure if they're not regularly complimented...

Employers say the praise culture can help them with job retention, and marriage counselors say couples often benefit by keeping praise a constant part of their interactions. But in the process, people's positive traits can be exaggerated until the words feel meaningless. "There's a runaway inflation of everyday speech," warns Linda Sapadin, a psychologist in Valley Stream, N.Y. These days, she says, it's an insult unless you describe a pretty girl as "drop-dead gorgeous" or a smart person as "a genius." "And no one wants to be told they live in a nice house," says Dr. Sapadin. "'Nice' was once sufficient. That was a good word. Now it's a put-down."

And my favorite quote (describing the attitude of earlier generations): "Yes, I get recognition every week. It's called a paycheck." =)

I have to admit that I'm a praise-junkie - although not nearly as much in the last couple of years. I also have to admit that I struggle with the right balance of praise / positive-feedback with my kids. On the one hand, you want to be supportive and recognize their accomplishments but you also don't want to get carried away about every little thing.

Family meetings

Every Sunday morning, we have a family meeting. It's a tradition that my wife started a couple of months ago and so far it's been a big success. I'd certainly advocate the tradition for any family - whether they have kids or not. The meetings are a built-in time to check in, connect as a family, and discuss pertinent ideas or issues. For our meetings, the stated purposes are:

• To give compliments
• To help each other
• To solve problems
• To plan family activities

The kids (particularly JD) really seem excited and empowered by the meetings. Some of the topics JD has asked to discuss are how we can show people we love them, what we can do if someone is not being nice, and how we can keep loving each other even if we have an argument. For each topic, we brainstormed a set of possible solutions and then posted a sign on the door. For example, on April 22, we came up with this set of suggestions if someone isn't being nice:

• Move away, run away, or leave
• Tell the person how it makes you feel
• Tell the person it's not ok to not be nice
• Make an angry face
• Use words. Ask the person if something is wrong, why they're not being nice, and how you can help them feel better.
• Don't have to be not nice back.

Regarding how we can keep loving each other even if we have an argument, here's the list we came up with on May 13:

• Be nice
• Say "sorry"
• Play a game
• Say "I love you"
• Give a kiss
• Be good
• Give a hug
• Be nice and love
• Read a book
• Share a toy

Prior to having kids (and especially after JD and AJ were born), my wife and I had family meetings of our own where we could discuss how things were going for each other and how we could support each other better. We still try to have those "adult-only meetings" once a week - usually while taking a walk - and it makes a big difference in our marriage.

Post frequency

For awhile now, I've felt like I've been neglecting my blog - or at least not tackling the same depth of issues I did in the past. The graph to the right proves out that my post frequency is way down from where it was when I first started this blog. Many of the original posts were focused on religion, spirituality, and balance since those were the issues I was struggling with the most. I wouldn't say that I have them totally figured out but I feel I'm in a much better place than when I first started the blog. So, if post frequency is a reflection of level of struggle, I suppose it's not entirely a bad thing that my post frequency is down. That being said, the more practical reason that I'm not posting as much that is work is very busy and it's hard to squeeze in other forms of self-reflection like this (which isn't a good thing). One of these days I'll get back to the harder issues. For now, I'll do my best to post when I can.

The Marshmallow Test

In one of the venture blogs I read, there was an interesting post that referenced the "marshmallow test". Specifically, there was a test done back in the early 1960s by Walter Mischel with 400 four-year olds at Stanford University.

Children were put in a room by themselves with a two-way mirror and filmed. On the table in the room was a marshmallow. The researcher then told each child that, “I’ve got to leave for about 10 minutes. You can eat this marshmallow now if you want. Or if you wait till I get back, you can have two marshmallows when I get back.” Some of the kids were pretty determined to wait; one child actual licked the table all round the marshmallow but avoided the marshmallow itself. Some could wait a few minutes only. Others gobbled it down immediately. The researchers continued to track these children throughout their school careers and into early adult life.

The results were dramatic. Those who had deferred eating the marshmallow for 15-20 minutes in order to get the bigger prize just a few minutes later were more socially competent, personally effective, self-assertive and better able to cope with the frustrations of life. They were less likely to go to pieces, freeze, regress under stress or become rattled and disorganized when pressured. They embraced challenges, and pursued them instead of giving up even in the face of difficulties; they were more self-reliant and confident, trustworthy and dependable; they took initiative and plunged into projects. This group even scored on average 210 points higher on their SAT.

I doubt the marshmallow test was ever administered to me when I was four years old but I suspect I would have been one of the kids that would have waited it out and gotten two marshmallows at the end. Sometimes I worry I'm a little too focused on delayed rewards, that I'm always investing for the future (for monetarily and career-wise) rather than enjoyed the present. But I suppose that's just how I'm wired.

I'm kind of tempted to administer the marshmallow test on my kids. I'm pretty sure JD would wait (even a year ago when he was four). I'm less sure about AJ but he's only three right now so it's a little hard to judge. That being said, he does pretty well with delayed rewards (e.g., if you do X now, you'll get Y tonight) so he'd probably be in the same camp as JD.

First day of kindergarten

Today was JD's first day of kindergarten. It seemed to go well. The program is dual immersion English-Spanish and 90% of the instruction in kindergarten is in Spanish (but becomes 50/50 by fifth grade). So I think JD was a little mentally exhausted by the end of the day (with all the Spanish being thrown at him) but that was part of the point of putting him in this program. He probably wouldn't be challenged by a regular kindergarten program given where he is right now with reading, math, and verbal communication.

Anyway, I took the day off so I could take JD to school in the morning and pick him up at lunchtime. Given work, I don't know how often I'll be able to do that for him so I figured this was a good day to make it happen. Who knows if it made any difference to JD (he just ran right into class and started exploring the classroom; no clinging or hesitation) but it was a symbolic gesture on my part. It was my way of saying to him that he's important to me and that I want to support him - even if I can't be there all the time.

As luck would have it (or perhaps everything happens for a reason), one of the energy blogs I follow had a personal post today. In it, the blogger (who has a full-time job and family) was discussing the fact that his blog is taking up too much of his time and putting a strain on his family. This excerpt resonated with me:

This past week, my 11-year-old son watched a movie that he really liked. I told him, "Yeah, I have been meaning to watch that with you." He then looked at me, and asked "But why didn't you?"

I know I'm making choices in my life that prevent me from doing every little thing with my kids (or my wife). But I certainly don't want to get to one of these gut-wrenching moments when it becomes perfectly clear your priorities have been in the wrong place for a long while. Hopefully this forum of people can keep me honest in that regard and I can do enough stuff along the way to be an integral part of my kids' lives while also accomplishing something meaningful in other parts of my life (particularly my marriage and career).

Done having kids

People sometimes ask me whether we're planning to have any more kids. My immediate answer is "we're done". Most people are actually quite surprised (and amused) by how immediate the response is. But I'm quite content with the two boys I have and really don't want to go through the baby phase again. I was thinking about this today since we were over at my sister-in-law's house and I was hanging out with her new baby. Her son is totally mellow, quite cute, and loves to a warm body to cuddle up to. But, when I was holding him, I definitely wasn't thinking "wouldn't it be nice to have another kid". Instead, I was thinking about how great it is that my boys are growing up and getting increasingly independent.

From what I understand, a number of dads start to really get into their kids when they hit four years old or so. At that point, you can do more interactive stuff and communicate a lot better. So I suppose my situation isn't much different. Regardless, if my parents want any more grandkids, they'll need to depend on my brother because we're done. =)

The Pragmatic Path to Agnosticism

A friend of mine has a great thread going over on his blog (Running Naked) that explores his path from Catholicism to Aethism to Agnosticism. So far, he's published 4 of the 5 essays: Get Thee Behind Me Jesus!, The Shiny Ball of Atheism, Survival of the Holiest, and The Fundamentalist Atheist. So far, I've really enjoyed the series (along with all his other posts) and look forward to the final installment. If you have some time, I'd highly recommend reading this series.

Amendment (8/22/07): Here is a link to the final installment in this series.

Bit Literacy

A friend of a friend wrote a great book called Bit Literacy. I've previously written about a tool called Gootodo (see post). This book takes things a step further and outlines all the skills and strategies one needs to be successful in this digital, information-intensive age. The book's a quick read so I'd highly recommend it. In my case, I found the first part of the book (about email purges and getting to-do's organized) most useful. The rest of the book was all stuff I already know and do. Then again, my life is more bit-intensive than most.

After reading the book, I emptied my personal inbox. Still working on doing the same thing with my work email. I've also been using Gootodo again although I still sometimes supplement with paper. The real trick with all of this isn't knowing the strategies but being consistent in their application. I probably do better with this stuff than most but it's still a struggle. If others read the book, I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on all this.

Temptation

My brother-in-law sent me a quote the other day from C.S. Lewis: "No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is...We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it." I've certainly found this to be true - whether it be with eating, work, or other things. I don't do particularly well in the moment. It's too easy to rationalize the transgression, especially if it seems fairly minor in the grand scheme of things. I've found my best strategy to be avoidance (prevent facing the temptation to begin with). This quote is interesting to me, though, since I know people for whom temptation doesn't appear to be an issue. But I guess you just never know other people's struggles behind the scenes (and they likely don't know mine).

Weight Watchers

Now that I hit my weight loss goal, I was trying to decide what I should do for maintenance. I think the most important thing is better integrating exercise and better eating habits into my lifestyle. That's the only way this stuff is going to stick. I was trying to think of ways to do that and be accountable. I thought about developing a points system based on eating and exercise. Rather than reinvent the wheel, I decided to sign up for Weight Watchers Online. The first three months is $65 and I was able to finance the expense through a generous birthday gift from my wife's parents (thanks!). So we'll see how that goes. If nothing else, it's forcing me to log everything I eat and be conscious of my food choices. Hopefully I'll also be able to get a better handle on portion sizes and a more intuitive sense of the relative point values of different foods. So far I've only done this for two days. The web interface is pretty slick and makes things relatively painless - although there are some weird things (bugs?) in the site I haven't figured out yet.

The other thing I'm still getting my head around is what a good target weight should be (good target = healthy and achievable over the long-term). 190-195 pounds actually seems pretty good to me. But the system suggested setting a target of 143 pounds - 50+ pounds less than I am right now! I think this was based on BMI but that's totally crazy. When I stepped on the scale this morning, I was 193.4 pounds and 22.4% body fat - 43.3 pounds of fat and 150.1 pounds. So I currently have more muscle than Weight Watchers is telling me I should weigh total. Something doesn't fit here. Even if I got down to 8% body fat and maintained my muscle mass (which would be very challenging), I'd still weigh 163.2 pounds. Anyway, I entered 185 pounds into the system as my "goal weight" but I personally think 190-195 pounds makes more sense (even though it technically means I'm still "fat").

Lemonade stand

JD decided a couple of weeks ago that he wanted to do a lemonade stand and yesterday was the big day. It's great to see him take iniative to do things like this. He was very excited to make the lemonade and cookies and even found the recipe for the oatmeal raisin cookies himself in a book he got at the library. He also painted signs for us to hang up in our neighborhood to attract customers.

After 90 minutes, JD, AJ, and one of JD's friends from church had sold out and made $8 in revenue. Each cup of lemonade was a quarter. Same price for the cookies. So they sold 32 items in all - and ate/drank some themselves. Each kid got to put $2.70 in their piggy bank (we kicked in an additional dime to make the revenue split totally even). Being a MBA, I had actually proposed that my wife and I take 50% off the top to cover raw material and marketing costs but she thought it was ok for all the money to go to the kids. She's such a softie. =)