That's my boy

Just got an interesting email from my son JD.  He certainly doesn't lack in self-confidence although he needs to work on his spelling.  =)

Subject: Don't look til fathers day!
Body: Hi dad,sorry the title is cindav silly. Just  wanted to say Happy Fathers Day! I think your think your the 2nd best dad 1.me (future). I love you. JD

I'm sure JD will be a wonderful father in the future - much better than me I hope.  Same goes for AJ.

LDS material for kids

I just came across two resources for kids that I thought I'd file away for future reference.  The first are illustrated scripture stories and the second is the Friend web site.  Here is another web site that my wife used the other day.

The lovable sevens

I just got this email update from Babycenter as part of their age-tailored newsletter:

The lovable sevens
Congrats! You're entering one of the most rewarding phases of parenthood. Now your child requires less hands-on supervision and care, but he still looks up to you for guidance and support. His curiosity, excitement, and eagerness to learn make him a charming companion in the year ahead. His academic interests begin to take shape, too. Growing exposure to science, writing, math, and other subjects will give you a sense of where his natural interests lie.

So true. I remember talking to a guy on a plane once. He had a 9 year old and a 7 year old if I remember correctly. He said it was a great set of ages since the boys were old enough that they could do lots of interesting things but still young enough that it was cool to do stuff with their parents. Something to look forward to over the next couple of years before the pre-teen and teen years hit.

Lost Generation

This is a great, clever video entitled "Lost Generation".  Enjoy.

Spirituality, Not Religion, Makes Kids Happy

My brother sent me an article from U.S. News & World Report entitled "Spirituality, Not Religion, Makes Kids Happy". Here is the opening part of the article:

The link between spirituality and happiness is pretty well-established for teens and adults. More spirituality brings more happiness. Now a study has reached into the younger set, finding the same link in "tweens" and in kids in middle childhood.

Specifically, the study shows that children who feel that their lives have meaning and value and who develop deep, quality relationships — both measures of spirituality, the researchers claim — are happier.

Personal aspects of spirituality (meaning and value in one's own life) and communal aspects (quality and depth of inter-personal relationships) were both strong predictors of children's happiness, said study leader Mark Holder from the University of British Columbia in Canada and his colleagues Ben Coleman and Judi Wallace.

However, religious practices were found to have little effect on children's happiness, Holder said. Religion is just one institutionalized venue for the practice of or experience of spirituality, and some people say they are spiritual but are less enthusiastic about the concept of God.

Other research has shown a connection between well-adjusted and well-behaved children and religion, but that is not the same, necessarily, as happiness.

No huge surprises here. My one comment - at least from my last year of experience - is that a religiously-grounded world-view can certainly enhance one's spirituality and communal aspects - which, in turn, enhances happiness.

Children's Letters to God

My in-laws have these cute letters to God on their computer. I couldn't help writing them down so I'd have them for the future. So amazing to see what kids say sometimes.

Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you got now?
J

Dear God,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Isthat ok?
N

Dear God,
I think the stapler is one of your greatest invention.
R

Dear God,
In bible times, did they really talk that fancy?
J

Dear God,
I think about you sometimes even when I'm not praying.
E

Dear God,
I am American. What are you?
R

Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother but what I prayed for was a puppy.
J

Dear God,
I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
N

Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
G

Dear God,
If you watch in church on Sunday, I will show you my new shoes.
M

Dear God,
If we come back as something, please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her.
D

God,
I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible.
Love,
C

Dear God,
If you give me a genie lamp like Alladin, I will give you anything you want except my money or my chess set.
R

We read Thos. Edison made light. But in Sun. School they said you did it. So I bet he stoled your idea.
Sincerely,
D

Dear God,
If you let the dinasor not exstinct we would not have a country. You did the right thing.
J

Dear God,
Please send Dennis Clark to a different camp this year.
P

Dear God,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
L

I'd hard to pick a favorite - they're all so good - but I think it would either be the one about Cain and Abel or praying for a puppy instead of a baby brother.

The Mom Song

This is a neat video from YouTube.

It's not easy being a mom, that's for sure.

I'm Watching You Dad

I watched this video last night and thought it was a good reminder that my everyday actions are setting an example for my two boys - whether positive or negative.

I also received this "Family Gem" this morning via email entitled "Brethren Should Maintain Priorities":

As I meet with priesthood leaders, I often ask about the priorities of their various responsibilities. Usually they mention their important Church duties to which they have been called. Too few remember their responsibilities at home. Yet priesthood offices, keys, callings, and quorums are meant to exalt families (see D&C 23:3). Priesthood authority has been restored so that families can be sealed eternally. So brethren, your foremost priesthood duty is to nurture your marriage—to care for, respect, honor, and love your wife. Be a blessing to her and your children.

Hopefully I'm doing an ok job of balancing everything and setting a reasonable example for my kids.  I feel I could do a better job as a role model for exercise, prayer, and scripture study.

Safe, respected, and loved

We've been a little hit-or-miss with having weekly family meetings but we're trying to keep up the habit.  At our family meeting last night, one of the topics I wanted to discussed is how members of our family can feel safe, respected, and loved.  Here's what resulted from the discussion (see PDF).  I'm always surprised at the insightful things that the kids come up with on their own.

Special time

The last couple of months, they boys have been competing for attention more and more.  JD is quite forward and demanding in terms of attracting attention.  AJ has, in some situations, resorted to attracting negative attention - at least unconsciously assuming that negative attention is still better than no attention.  In response to all of this, my wife and I decided to devote Saturday's to dedicated, one-on-one time with kids.  Each Saturday, we alternate which parent is with which kid and that kid gets undivided attention (without having to compete for it).  So far, it seems to be working quite well - especially for AJ.

Here's a quick summary of what I've done with the boys the first four Saturdays.

Week #1: AJ

AJ and I went to the Oakland Zoo and saw animals and went on some rides.  We stopped by the visitor's center at the Oakland Temple and then we got lunch.  We went to Tilden Park after that and rode the train, went to a playground, went to the Nature Center, gathered some leaves, went to the Little Farm, rode a carousel, and got ice cream.

Week #2: JD

JD and I helped with a clean-up at the church building.  We went to Target and bought some Pokemon cards.  We came home, cleaned out the Altima (which had needed a good cleaning for awhile), had some lunch, and learned how to play Pokemon.  Then we went to JD's soccer game.  Afterwards, JD and I went on a two and a half hour bike ride to Shoreline Park and back - including a stop at 7-Eleven on the way home to buy Gatorade.  Since JD hadn't had enough physical activity that day, we wrapped up by playing more sports at his school until it got dark.

Week #3: AJ

AJ and I went up to Pier 39 in San Francisco.  We went to the Aquarium of the Bay - which has some cool exhibits.  We saw the sea lions and got some lunch.  We also bought some ballons at the magic store and some cookies at Mrs. Fields.  We were planning to spend the whole day up in San Francisco but it was raining pretty hard so we headed home.  The ballons we got included some instructions on how to make dogs, swords, and other ballon animals.  It took a little practice but I was able to figure out how to make dogs pretty well.  So we ended up making 8 of them - four for our family and four for another family.  Then we rented the movie "Thomas and Friends: The Great Discovery", popped some popcorn, and watched the movie together.  Afterwards, we took one of the balloon families over to one of AJ's friends along with two of the cookies.

Week #4: JD

JD and I practiced soccer at his school and played 2006 FIFA World Cup on the Playstation 2. It was JD's first time playing home video games. We went to his soccer game (and his Uncle DE and cousin SE came along).  Then we started playing Pokemon, went to lunch at California Pizza Kitchen, and came home to finish our Pokemon game (which JD won since he stacked the deck in his favor). JD used the computer for a bit while I (unfortunately) took care of something for work. Then we went to Sky High Sports - and had dinner at Jack in the Box while we were out.

If you have suggestions on cool things for me or my wife to do with the kids, please let me know.

Randy Pausch Last Lecture

My brother-in-law DE pointed me to this video awhile ago but I just watched it tonight. The CMU professor giving this final lecture has since passed away but imparted some wisdom to a packed house. He also subsequently wrote a book.



The video wasn't what I was expecting - and was a bit slow at times - but I still think it was a good use of time to watch. I especially like the end.

Serving Others

My son AJ was asked to give a talk today in Primary (the group of 4 to 12 year olds at church). I ended up serving as his speechwriter but he did a great job today saying it for the other kids. He's what he had to say:

I was asked to talk about how I can serve Heavenly Father by serving others. Serving others means that we help them feel better when they are hurt. We can help them solve a problem or we can do something nice for them. Sometimes when people pray for help, their prayers are answered by something we do for them. In 1 Nephi 16:29, it says that “by small means the Lord can bring about great things”. And, in Mosiah 2:17, it says “when [you] are in the service of your fellow beings [you] are only in the service of your God”. It feels good to do nice things for other people and it makes our Heavenly Father happy too.

A little while ago, JH’s family was moving. I carried some of their boxes down the stairs to their moving truck. It was fun to spend time with mey dad and my brother and they said “thank you” for helping them move. Sometimes my Aunt BE needs to go to an appointment so my mom and I take care of my cousin SE. He’s still a baby. Sometimes SE cries but we are able to make him feel better. I share my toys with him. It feels nice to take care of other people.

Yesterday, me and my dad went to the Oakland temple. While we were there, one of the sister missionaries gave me this cool keychain. It can change colors. When you put it in the sun, it turns blue. She said that people can change too. Some people don’t know that Heavenly Father and Jesus love them. If you do something nice for them, maybe they’ll change and want to learn more about Jesus. Or maybe they’ll do something nice for someone else. That would be really cool.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

There are plenty of people who need each of our help. It is my sincere hope and prayer that we'll serve them.

The Number Devil

I just got done reading The Number Devil by Hans Magnus Enzensberger. A co-worker's son recently read it and encouraged his dad to do the same. We were on a trip together and the dad (my co-worker) mentioned the book to me. It was a fun read and does a good job of making math interesting and exciting. I would definitely recommend it. When JD and AJ are a little older, I'll encourage them to read the book. Both of them seem to enjoy math (at least so far) and this book could only help fuel that interest.

Poor loser - suggestions?

My son JD is a really poor loser. It's starting to really concern me and I have no idea what to do about it. If he doesn't win a game, he pouts about it and insists we play again so he can win. Today, we went bowling with DE and JD complained the whole time that he didn't do the best - and then started to actively root against the rest of us (and celebrate when someone missed the pins). It's gotten to the point where I don't want to do activities with him since I don't want to deal with his attitude about it all. I suppose part of this is my own fault. When I've played games and sports with him in the past, I've intentionally kept things close and let him win. So now he probably expects to win all the time. Or perhaps JD has some of my perfectionist tendencies. I don't know. All I do know is that he's in for a lot of disappointment when he plays sports or does other activities with kids down the road. Hopefully it will work itself out over time. In the meantime, I'm totally open to suggestion.

Addendum (7/5/08): My mom pointed out to me that I was a poor loser myself when I was 7 or 8 with very similar behavior to what JD is exhibiting now (if not worse). She reminded me that kids who are good at certain things often assume they should therefore be good at everything. I guess the fruit doesn't fall too far from the tree. It's always hard to see our own imperfections mirrored back to us in our kids - at least it's hard (very hard) for me. It's one thing for me to have my own struggles but it makes me feel 100 times worse when I think I might be passing them on to my kids. Then again, they need struggles to grow and mature so I suppose it's serving some useful purpose (although, to be honest, that's only mildly comforting to me).

Professional

Yesterday, the family went to the park to play soccer. My son JD decided that he and I should be on different teams since it would be "rude" for both "professionals" to be on the same team. That's probably the one time in my life that I'll be called a "professional" in the context of soccer. =) JD will start noticing all my imperfections soon enough. For now, I guess I'll enjoy the "Dad's a professional" phase.

Moon base

My older son JD is really into non-fiction at the moment, particularly outer space. In one of his science books from the library, it talked about creating a moon base at home. JD really wanted to do this project and specifically wanted to do it with me for some "special time". I have to admit that I'm generally not into activities like this and wasn't that excited to do it with him. But it was important to him so I went ahead and did it. I think it turned out ok and JD certainly seemed to like it. I suppose that's all that matters. I guess I should get used to this stuff since I'm sure there will be many more such projects over the years for school and also personal interest.

Dear Mom, Dad + AJ

JD made a really cool book/card at school today during his free time. It reads (over multiple pages stapled together):

Dear Mom, Dad + AJ, thank you for loveing me and Mom being my mom, Dad being my dad + Andy being my broeder. [heart] JD

I kept in the spelling errors for authenticity. At first, I thought this was a class assignment. But then I found out that JD did this on his own (after making a paper airplane first). He's a very sweet boy.

Great Softball Story

A few weeks ago, a co-worker of mine shared this story with me about an amazing act of sportsmanship. Since the article is no longer available online, I created my own page here. I was very moved by the story at the time. In particular, it made me think about what I would have done in that situation. It also made me think about what my kids would do and how I can install these values in them over time.

The Second Coming

In Primary yesterday, JD gave a short talk about Jesus Christ and the Second Coming (see PDF of talk). JD was very nervous when he got up to the microphone (in front of the teachers and the other kids) but he managed to gain his composure and get started with my help. Then he read the talk from there without further prompting from me. I was very proud of JD and, on a whole, I think he did well.

In terms of the speech itself, JD basically wrote it by himself. We found out on Friday night that JD would be speaking on Sunday. I was honestly worried about my ability to help him with this assignment - especially for a child audience. I wanted the talk to be in his words and based on his own understanding of the topic but assumed I'd need to guide him through every step of the process. But when I woke up the next morning, he was basically done with the speech. In the PDF linked above, I've included his handwritten rough draft (on page 2). Admittedly, he "borrowed" chunks of text from this board book. But he found the book on his own and selected the text on his own. Also, the other commentary is his. The only things I helped him with were (1) reminding him of reading John 3:16 a couple of months ago, (2) finding a picture of the Second Coming (above), and (3) helping him find the third scripture in the talk (from D&C). Other than that, JD did this entirely on his own - which I personally find very impressive.

Family Walkathon

A little while ago, JD participated in a walkathon at school to raise money for the PTA. He got various sponsors (mostly family members) who donated a certain amount of money for each lap that he did around the school. JD had so much fun doing the walkathon at school that he decided that he wanted to do a family walkathon for fun. So we did one on Thanksgiving before dinner. We setup some cones next to the football field of a local high school and kept track of laps on lap cards I made the day before. Each lap was 130 yards (a 60 yard by 5 yard rectangle) and the lap cards went up to 40 laps (just under 3 miles total). JD completed all of his laps first (since he ran some of them) and I also completed the full number. AJ also did a lot of laps (around 30). It was a fun little event.

More generally, I hope the kids can enjoy regular exercise in their lives. I've never really been into exercise. I force myself to do it periodically to lose weight or try to stay healthy. But I don't really enjoy it very much. Perhaps that will change in the future - especially if I can do more of it with the kids. Last night, JD decided he wanted to do this Physical Fitness Award Program and I'm going to try to do it too.