As part of doing Personal Progress for church, I read the book The Happiness Curve for the Divine Nature project. I just wrote this reflection on the book.
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One aspect of divine nature that I explored is how our personal happiness changes over time and how that how that serves God's plans and purposes for us and enables us to become whom He would want us to be. In particular, we go through a transition in life whereby we shift from focusing more on ourselves of our needs and ambitions which is competitive by nature towards focusing more on the collective good connection and compassion which is collaborative by nature. We stop worrying about how we compare to others or what we've achieved compared to others and more about whether we're making a contribution in the world. But that change can be challenging and uncomfortable - particularly during our 40s which is right where I am - and results in a trough in our "happiness curve". Some people worry that our happiness will only continue to decline as we get older but research slows in general the opposite to be true and we start becoming happier as we reach 50 and beyond. In the meantime, we can find ourselves feeling dissatisfied with life for no real objective reason and then feeling dissatisfied about feeling dissatisfied which can be very frustrating. We might be tempted to make dramatic changes in our lives what sometimes people characterize as a "mid-life crisis" but is typically not really a "crisis" in the real sense of that word it's more of a "midlife malaise". Sometimes making dramatic changes like changing jobs/careers, moving, etc may make sense but sometimes it can just lead us off-track and not really address the real underlying issue which, to a certain degree, time and an associated change in viewpoint/outlook will naturally address. We get to a point where we expect less and appreciate more.
To truly achieve my divine nature, I need to compare myself less to other people and focus instead on what God wants me to become and living my life well. I also need to remember that this is a phase of life that will pass and get better which hopefully will give me hope and optimism. The only way *out* is *through*. I also need to remember that sometimes it's hard to "guide the elephant" - the elephant is the mind's many automatic, involuntary processes the rider is the mind's controlled, voluntary processes "the elephant's mission is to make us successful in producing offspring in doing the things that will lead to the successful completion of the mission of life on earth. The elephant is especially concerned that you get prestige. The elephant was created by evolution to complete the mission. And happiness is not the goal of the mission ... the trick is to depend less on trying to talk the elephant into being satisfied ... and instead to give it an environment where the things it wants and the things the rider wants are in closer alignment.".
One other thing that I can remember and appreciate is that I've achieved a lot already. "It does seem that by the time people are in their forties, many people have achieved a lot of what they've hoped to achieve so there's this grand question of Now what? Is this it? ... We do not feel ready to give up the competitive drive of youth, and we have yet to reap the rewards of the communitarian values of older age." On the "appreciate" side, though, one other thing to remember is that "blessing counting can have self-defeating side effects by reminding us of the privileged nature of our objective circumstances, it can make our subjective lack of gratitude seem all the more like a moral failing or emotional ailment ... gratitude is harder in the trough of the U, so cut yourself some slack ... midlife crisis begins sometime in your forties when you look at your life and think 'is this all?' And it ends about ten years later, when you look at your life again and think, 'actually, this is pretty good'."
Things to look forward to and try to achieve now living in the present, taking each day as it comes, savoring the positive, dwelling less on the negative, accepting, not overreacting, setting realistic goals, prioritizing the really important people and relationships in life. Also recognizing that "I can't save the world, I can save my little corner of it." There's also a lot of talk near the end of the book on the power and benefits of wisdom - which my patriarchal blessing speaks to me having/gaining.
To truly achieve my divine nature, I need to compare myself less to other people and focus instead on what God wants me to become and living my life well. I also need to remember that this is a phase of life that will pass and get better which hopefully will give me hope and optimism. The only way *out* is *through*. I also need to remember that sometimes it's hard to "guide the elephant" - the elephant is the mind's many automatic, involuntary processes the rider is the mind's controlled, voluntary processes "the elephant's mission is to make us successful in producing offspring in doing the things that will lead to the successful completion of the mission of life on earth. The elephant is especially concerned that you get prestige. The elephant was created by evolution to complete the mission. And happiness is not the goal of the mission ... the trick is to depend less on trying to talk the elephant into being satisfied ... and instead to give it an environment where the things it wants and the things the rider wants are in closer alignment.".
One other thing that I can remember and appreciate is that I've achieved a lot already. "It does seem that by the time people are in their forties, many people have achieved a lot of what they've hoped to achieve so there's this grand question of Now what? Is this it? ... We do not feel ready to give up the competitive drive of youth, and we have yet to reap the rewards of the communitarian values of older age." On the "appreciate" side, though, one other thing to remember is that "blessing counting can have self-defeating side effects by reminding us of the privileged nature of our objective circumstances, it can make our subjective lack of gratitude seem all the more like a moral failing or emotional ailment ... gratitude is harder in the trough of the U, so cut yourself some slack ... midlife crisis begins sometime in your forties when you look at your life and think 'is this all?' And it ends about ten years later, when you look at your life again and think, 'actually, this is pretty good'."
Things to look forward to and try to achieve now living in the present, taking each day as it comes, savoring the positive, dwelling less on the negative, accepting, not overreacting, setting realistic goals, prioritizing the really important people and relationships in life. Also recognizing that "I can't save the world, I can save my little corner of it." There's also a lot of talk near the end of the book on the power and benefits of wisdom - which my patriarchal blessing speaks to me having/gaining.
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