The Most-Praised Generation Goes to Work

There was a WSJ article back in April that I had told my wife about regarding how "uber-stroked kids are reaching adulthood -- and now their bosses (and spouses) have to deal with them" (see PDF for those of you without an online WSJ subscription). At the time I was too busy to blog about this so I read the article and simply set it aside. But my wife asked me about it the other day so I tracked down the article again. Here are some excerpts:

You, You, You -- you really are special, you are! You've got everything going for you. You're attractive, witty, brilliant. "Gifted" is the word that comes to mind. Childhood in recent decades has been defined by such stroking -- by parents who see their job as building self-esteem, by soccer coaches who give every player a trophy, by schools that used to name one "student of the month" and these days name 40. Now, as this greatest generation grows up, the culture of praise is reaching deeply into the adult world. Bosses, professors and mates are feeling the need to lavish praise on young adults, particularly twentysomethings, or else see them wither under an unfamiliar compliment deficit...

Certainly, there are benefits to building confidence and showing attention. But some researchers suggest that inappropriate kudos are turning too many adults into narcissistic praise-junkies. The upshot: A lot of today's young adults feel insecure if they're not regularly complimented...

Employers say the praise culture can help them with job retention, and marriage counselors say couples often benefit by keeping praise a constant part of their interactions. But in the process, people's positive traits can be exaggerated until the words feel meaningless. "There's a runaway inflation of everyday speech," warns Linda Sapadin, a psychologist in Valley Stream, N.Y. These days, she says, it's an insult unless you describe a pretty girl as "drop-dead gorgeous" or a smart person as "a genius." "And no one wants to be told they live in a nice house," says Dr. Sapadin. "'Nice' was once sufficient. That was a good word. Now it's a put-down."

And my favorite quote (describing the attitude of earlier generations): "Yes, I get recognition every week. It's called a paycheck." =)

I have to admit that I'm a praise-junkie - although not nearly as much in the last couple of years. I also have to admit that I struggle with the right balance of praise / positive-feedback with my kids. On the one hand, you want to be supportive and recognize their accomplishments but you also don't want to get carried away about every little thing.