LDS Primary and beyond

In response to my post regarding the Sacramento Temple, one reader asked me "How do you feel about your sons going on LDS missions? How do you suppose you would feel if you did not get to attend their temple weddings?" - not in a bad way, in a genuinely curious way. Even though I'm personally not a member of the LDS church, my kids are being raised in that faith.

A couple of comments. First, I think it's better for my kids to be raised with religion and a faith in God rather than without it. Since I can't offer a more compelling alternative, I'm happy for the kids to be part of the LDS church. That being said, it is my sincere hope that we expose them to other faith traditions over time and that they grow up to be tolerant of other religions (or even benefit from other religions to augment their world view). Also, at some point (perhaps in their teens, perhaps sooner or later), I would like my kids to make up their own minds regarding which faith they want to pursue long-term. If that turns out to be the LDS church, I will fully support that decision. But I want it to be their decision (at the appropriate time) and not place any expectations on them regarding what they ultimately decide.

In terms of going on LDS missions, again, I would want it to be their decision. I'm personally not an advocate of actively trying to convert people from one faith to another. That said, I know a number of people who have been on missions and they seemed to have been valuable life experiences for them. Also, having missionaries available as a resource to those investigating the church is certainly helpful. I just have trouble with the door-to-door, unsolicited attempts to spread the faith. But, as I said, if my sons decide to go on LDS missions, I will fully support them in that endeavor.

Regarding having a temple wedding, I would probably be pretty sad to miss the ceremony itself. Perhaps there would need to be a seperate mock ceremony for my benefit. =) Regardless, like I said, I'm fine with my kids being raised LDS until they're old enough to choose for themselves. After that, it's up to them. So I'd run into the same challenge if they were raised a different faith and then converted to LDS later in life (but before they were married). At that stage of the game, I basically view all of this as being out of my control. What is in my control, however, is supporting my children in whatever is most important in their lives. If that included a temple wedding, I'd stand outside the temple and be the first one to embrace and congratulate them on the way out.

Interesting how having kids brings the question of religion into the forefront. It's definitely important to be on the same page regarding these issues before the kids are born - especially if the parents are of different faiths. I can see now why so many people try to marry within their own faith to avoid these concerns.