Tuesdays with Morrie

I read Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom last night and this morning. Mitch Albom also wrote the five people you meet in heaven (see this post). If you haven't checked out this book, I would definitely recommend it. It's a quick read and Morrie is a very endearing and inspirational real-life character. Morrie is diagnosed from ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) - a terrible ailment with no known cure - but rather than feel sorry for himself or withdraw from the world, he decides to embrace the remaining time he has and turn it into a laboratory on death (and life). As Morrie puts it, "once you learn how to die, you learn how to live".

There are a number of good lessons in this book but what I most took away from it is the joy for life and the love of others that Morrie possessed (and I do not). During his final months, Morrie was interviewed three times by Ted Koppel (for the show "Nightline"). In the final interview, he said: "For me, Ted, living means I can be responsive to the other person. It means I can show my emotions and my feelings. Talk to them. Feel with them ... When that is gone, Morrie is gone." Later, when asked whether he had anything to say to the nationwide audience, he said "be compassionate and take responsibility for each other. If we only learned those lessons, this world would be so much better a place ... love each other or die."

Another key thing I took away from Morrie was the importance and power of being fully present. Here's one good excerpt on this topic:

I came to love the way Morrie lit up when I entered the room. He did this for many people, I know but it was his special talent to make each visitor feel that the smile was unique.

"Ahhh, it's my buddy," he would say when he saw me, in that foggy, high-pitched voice. And it didn't stop with the greeting. When Morrie was with you, he was really with you. He looked you straight in the eye, and he listened as if you were the only person in the world. How much better would people get along if their first encounter each day were like this - instead of a grumlbe from a waitress or a bus driver or a boss?

"I believe in being fully present," Morrie said. "That means you should be with the person you're with. When I'm talking to you now, Mitch, I try to keep focused only on what is going on between us. I am not thinking about something we said last week. I am not thinking about doing another Koppel show, or about what medications I'm taking.

"I am talking to you. I am thinking about you."

Being more present, especially with my wife and children, is probably one of my top goals at the moment. Honestly, right now, I'd probably give myself a D in this area. I'm not completely failing but my performance is only barely one notch above that. I can't help but think about everything else going on in my life and everything else I "need" to do. Rather than be in the moment, I'm trying to think a couple of steps ahead. I'm cheating myself and those around me.

The last thing I'll say about this book is that I hope, in my own way, I am able to be a teacher and mentor like Morrie. Morrie wanted his tombstone to read "A Teacher to the Last". How appropriate. I wonder what I'd want my tombstone to say. I wonder how I'll want others to remember me when I'm gone. I wonder who will show up at my funeral and what they will say.