The Fourth Watch

I recently rediscovered this CD: "The Fourth Watch: Receiving Divine Help When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered" (buy, sample/download). One of the missionaries let me borrow it about a year and a half ago and I made a copy.  I just listened to it in my car.  It's only about 74 minutes so it goes pretty quickly.  If you've ever wondered why God hasn't answered your prayers and why He isn't listening, I would wholeheartedly suggest you listening to this talk.  There are plenty of LDS-specific examples but the core material is taken from the New Testament and the messages are universal.

Here is one excerpt that I just transcribed since I think it will be meaningful to someone that I love very much.

Sometimes  I think the answers don’t come or the blessings we desire don’t come or the trials don’t end because there is no place for God to put the answer yet. I call it a “holding place”. There isn’t a holding place for the answer. And life and experience has to carve the holding place so He can put it. But He hears our prayers …

When I was just a baby, my father – because of concerns in his own life and challenges that he was having – left our family.  And I was therefore raised by my mother alone – my sisters and I.  As I was growing up, my father had very little to do with us as children. I know he was working with things in his own life, but his decisions created certain challenges and hardships for my mother, my sisters, and for myself.

At age 14 or 15, if you were in my situation and knelt down and said “Father in heaven, help me be at peace concerning my father leaving us and really having nothing to do with us, help me forgive my father”.  No answer at age 14 or 15. 20, 21 comes.  Same prayers, no answer.  25, 26.  Same prayers, no answer.  30, 31, 33, 34 … One day I was asked to prepare a talk on families and I thought "well, I will speak about my mother". My mother was a saint. In my eyes, she could do no wrong. So I would talk about my mother and how she raised us. But the Spirit seemed to whisper “speak about your father”. And I thought “what am I going to speak about my father?” I had hardly anything to do with my father growing up. But the Spirit seemed to urge that I think about him. 

Just at that moment, my two sons – I have three but only had two at the time.  I was married, I had two daughters and then two boys.  Just at that moment, my two sons walked into the room. One was about six, the other was around two. And they stood in front of me – just stood there staring at me.  And I looked at those two boys and all at once the Spirit just flooded my mind with wonderful memories of things that I had shared with those boys.  We’re told that your life passes before you just before you die and you see it all at once.  It was that kind of experience.  All the simple little experiences – none of them were major – carving Halloween pumpkins, trick-or-treating, Christmas morning, listening to their prayers, first Primary talks, the puppy, walks by the pond to see the turtles, piggy-back rides, reading them stories at night, catching a fish out of the same hole I caught my first fish at the ranch, taking them on a horseback ride.  All these little simple, tiny little everyday memories that I shared in those years with my sons.  And then the Spirit said, “I am now ready to answer your question. Now that you are a father, now that you know a father’s love, would you be the son who lost his father or the father who lost his son?”

Now, when I heard that, I just began to weep. I just sobbed.  My wife came into the room. I hugged those two boys. Just hugged them and cried. Not for me, for my father. Because I knew what he missed. He doesn’t know what he missed – there’s a mercy in that. I knew what he missed. And I knew it was a greater tragedy to be the father who lost the son than the son who lost the father …

Now, why didn’t God give me that answer at 15? Or 21? Or 25? Or when my daughters were born? He needed to wait until I was a father of sons and had enough experiences with my boys to understand what a sweet thing it was to be a father and share things with sons. The holding place was carved in my heart. And as soon as I could hold the answer, He gave it to me.

 

I know that many of us struggle with the question of whether our prayers are being heard and whether God cares about us.  Without equivocation, I will testify that God cares about each of His children deeply, that He hears each and every one of our prayers, and gives us the best set of experiences - at precisely the right time - to help us grow and develop (even though we might not always appreciate or agree with His plan or timing).