Friday, October 03, 2008

Why men cheat

I read an interesting article today about why men cheat on their wives.  It contradicts a lot of the conventional wisdom on the topic (i.e., that cheating is all about sex with a prettier woman).  Marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman just published a book on this subject called "The Truth About Cheating".  In the book, Gary says that ninety-two percent of men said it wasn't primarily about the sex.  "The majority said it was an emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling underappreciated. A lack of thoughtful gestures," Gary says. "Men are very emotional beings. They just don't look like that. Or they don't seem like that. Or they don't tell you that."  Gary also found that 88 percent of the men surveyed said the other women were no better looking or in no better shape than their own wives.   Here's one additional excerpt from the article:

Josh says he cheated on his wife, Jennifer, because he felt underappreciated at home and started feeling insecure. "That insecurity was really the catalyst," he says. "I didn't feel comfortable going to the one person in the world I should be going to, which is my wife." With daily worries like bills, children and chores, Gary says it's easy for couples to drift away from appreciating one another like they should. Gary says the other woman often makes the man feel better about himself. "[She] makes them feel different. Makes them feel appreciated, admired," he says. "Men look strong, look powerful and capable. But on the inside, they're insecure like everybody else. They're searching and looking for somebody to build them up to make them feel valued." ... Don't be afraid to praise your partner or tell him that you appreciate what he does, Gary says. "We get married because we want one person in the world to really think we're wonderful for doing all the things that we do. We all want the same thing," he says. "And the more we give it, the more we get it in return."

Anyway, very interesting stuff.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I appreciate all that you do. I hope you know that. love you