Looking up the economic ladder

I was talking to a friend the other night about work/life balance and he sent me this article afterwards. It talks about the dangers of materialism and of comparing ourselves to others. Here are some interesting excerpts:

Trying to define materialism is like a fish trying to describe water, says Carroll: “We swim in it. It’s all around us. It’s so pervasive that it’s very hard to question it and think about it clearly.” In addition, the material standards that define modest, good, or decadent living creep up over time and are highly subjective.

Those nuances aside, Carroll defines materialism as placing a high importance on material possessions as the means to achieving personal happiness and a sense of well-being. Several studies have shown that people who have a materialistic orientation report lower levels of happiness and feel less connection in relationships. “As you emphasize and value the material, you start to lessen your appreciation for the personal,” says Carroll...

Consider, for example, the couple that looks up the economic ladder and focuses on people who have more. Even if they have plenty of income, typically they will perceive themselves as not having enough, which in turn fosters a sense of entitlement, feelings of resentment, and anxiety, says Carroll: “If you see that so-and-so goes to Europe, you might think, ‘I’ve never been to Europe. Part of the good life is a vacation in Europe, but we can’t afford that. Something’s not right.’ So you start to attach your expectations and your sense of quality of life to those higher on the ladder.” At its core, looking up also creates a sense of ingratitude, says Carroll. You lose perspective of what you have.

Those who compare themselves with those lower on the economic ladder are less likely to feel distressed about finances, even when their income is modest. “‘I can’t afford to go to Europe, but I can take a trip to Disneyland. I know people who would give anything to be able to afford to take their kids to Disneyland. Wow, I’m blessed.’ So now you’re grateful. You see yourself as fortunate.”

These ways of thinking are powerful, says Carroll. “Materialistic attitudes are a better predictor of finances as a problem in a relationship than is income, which means that even high-income individuals who are materialistic will have financial problems in their marriage.”

The article also offers questions to ask to determine if you are materialistic and also suggestions on how to change. In general, I think my wife and I do a pretty reasonable job in this regard but there is always room for improvement - especially in such a materialistic part of the country like Silicon Valley.