37 minutes

This past Tuesday, I had to travel to Cincinnati for a business meeting. I had a business dinner with a potential partner that night so I was taking a 6:45am flight to get there in time. I set an alarm for 4am to give me enough time to wake up, get dressed, get to the airport, and get something to eat before my flight. I was up late the previous night doing work. I also had trouble falling asleep so I probably didn't fall asleep until about 2am. When the alarm went off at 4am, I thought I pressed the snooze button but, in actuality, had turned off the alarm. Later that morning, I woke up on my own at 5:28am. I know since I looked at the time on my cell phone right after I woke up and then went into a sudden panic about missing my flight. Luckily I had packed my bags and set out some clothes the prior night. I quickly got dressed, ran out the door, and drove as fast as I could to the airport (SFO). When I reached the gate, I looked at my watch and it was 6:05am. The flight didn't board for another 10 minutes.

I still don't understand how I got from home (in Mountain View) to the gate in so little time. According to Google Maps, it's a 23.5 mile drive from home to SFO. On the highway, I remember driving between 70 and 80 miles per hour. My (old) car can't really go faster than that. So, even if I averaged 70 miles per hour the entire way there (including time on surface streets), the drive alone would have taken 20 minutes. That leaves 17 minutes for everything else. I suppose that's possible. 3 minutes to get dressed and out the door. Say 6 minutes to get parked and up to security. And then 8 minutes to get through security and to the gate. Everything would have to go exactly right and it did.

A couple of reflections on this experience. As I was driving to the airport, I kept thinking "there's no way I'm going to make it". I then starting worrying about how I was going to explain this both internally to my co-workers and externally to the potential partner. I thought of a bunch of plausible excuses for missing the flight (e.g., up all night with sick kids, car trouble, etc). As I was doing this, though, I was reminded of the LDS temple interview questions. One of the questions is whether you have been honest in your dealings with others. So I resolved that if I missed the flight, I would tell the truth about it (even though that would have personal consequences). After that, I also remember thinking during the drive that I really needed to get back to reading my scriptures. Although on a severe lack of sleep, I read the Book of Mormon most of the flight to Cincinnati and was quite alert for it (perhaps given the adrenaline rush for the morning's activities). In the time since then, I've made a lot of progress with my reading and have renewed my commitment to finishing reading the Book of Mormon before my baptism in January. Ideally, I'd like to have it done by the time I return from visiting my parents in Washington, D.C. for the holidays (January 4).

I'll mention one more thing about this experience. Between 4am and 5:28am, I had an interesting dream. During one portion, I was talking to a group of people who were challenging me on why I was joining the Church. I remember responding "if it were up to me, do you really think I would have picked a religion with so many demands? One where you can't even drink? Come on, let's get serious here." And, then later, I was kissing a woman's neck (not my wife) and putting my arm around her waist from behind. But thinking the whole time, I need to stop - and that's when I woke up and saw what time it was. It's this latter part of my dream that motivated me to get back to reading the scriptures. Given everything that's been going on, I think I was thinking "my testimony is so strong right now that evil can't touch me" and that's just not true. There is SO much farther I need to go. I am inadequate in SO many ways.

In President Eyring's talk (see previous post), he says:

And the challenge to remember has always been the hardest for those who are blessed abundantly. Those who are faithful to God are protected and prospered. That comes as the result of serving God and keeping His commandments. But with those blessings comes the temptation to forget their source. It is easy to begin to feel the blessings were granted not by a loving God on whom we depend but by our own powers. The prophets have repeated this lament over and over:

“And thus we can behold how false, and also the unsteadiness of the hearts of the children of men; yea, we can see that the Lord in his great infinite goodness doth bless and prosper those who put their trust in him.

“Yea, and we may see at the very time when he doth prosper his people, yea, in the increase of their fields, their flocks and their herds, and in gold, and in silver, and in all manner of precious things of every kind and art; sparing their lives, and delivering them out of the hands of their enemies; softening the hearts of their enemies that they should not declare wars against them; yea, and in fine, doing all things for the welfare and happiness of his people; yea, then is the time that they do harden their hearts, and do forget the Lord their God, and do trample under their feet the Holy One—yea, and this because of their ease, and their exceedingly great prosperity.”

And the prophet goes on to say: “Yea, how quick to be lifted up in pride; yea, how quick to boast, and do all manner of that which is iniquity; and how slow are they to remember the Lord their God, and to give ear unto his counsels, yea, how slow to walk in wisdom’s paths!”

Over the last month or so, I have tried to keep God front-and-center in my thoughts and attribute everything that has happened to Him. But I have to admit there have been periods of pride where I felt superior to others or unshakeable in my new beliefs. And I think part of this early morning experience was meant to remind me that I need to be humble and always remember the source of the blessings in my life.

I also think this incident was meant to remind me of the hand the Lord plays in our lives. I was reminded of a prior post in which I briefly discussed this excerpt from the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis:

Don't forget to use the "Heads I win, tails you lose" argument. If the thing he prays for doesn't happen, then that is one more proof that petitionary prayers don't work; if it does happen, he will, of course, be able to see some of the physical causes which led up to it, and "therefore it would have happened anyway," and thus a granted prayer becomes just as good a proof as a denied one that prayers are ineffective.

I could pretend that making this flight was my own doing. That I would have made it without God's help. But I would be wrong. The Lord saw fit for me to make it in time. He had a role to play in my life that day and I recognize that - and thank Him for it.