This is an article (from the Wall Street Journal, I believe) that I cut out a long time ago - see PDF. I thought it was a sobering account of what happens and what's important as you move up in organizations. Here is one excerpt:
Aspiring executives who wish to gauge their ultimate potential, or that of others, should ask instead: What level of leadership do they aspire to? And are they willing to invest the effort and make the sacrifices required to take on the responsibility of the position?
The most senior jobs present tasks that are massive, complex and full of conflict. The playing field and rules become less certain. Indeed, part of a leader's job is to shape these things.
Also, the further an executive rises, the more he or she must deal with high-caliber people who know how to get what they want, are difficult, strong-willed and have a sharp appetite for power.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
San Diego vacation
Last week, we took the family down to San Diego for a pre-Christmas vacation since the kids were out of school and I needed some time off from work. Here is what we did:
Saturday, December 17
Saturday, December 17
- Drive from Mountain View to San Diego - make great time on the road and then get stuck in crazy traffic in LA
- Stop for dinner in Oceanside at the home of a friend from college.
Sunday, December 18
- Attend church - and enjoy a wonderful Christmas program
- Visit the San Diego temple and take photos
- Visit the Mormon Battalion Historic Site - very cool with neat interactive technology
- Watch NFL football at the hotel
- View Christmas lights display in Chula Vista - very cool with over 55 homes involved
Monday, December 19
- Visit the San Diego Zoo - we saw all the animals, attended a few shows, and took a trolly tour of the Christmas lights they had setup
Tuesday, December 20
- Visit SeaWorld - the shows were by far the best part of SeaWorld (with Blue Horizons being our overall favorite)
Wednesday, December 21
- Visit the USS Midway Museum - super-cool aircraft carrier with a neat self-guided audio tour; the boys also enjoyed answering questions to get their Junior Pilot wings
- Attempt to visit The New Children's Museum - but it was closed
- Attend the Poinsettia Bowl - the kids are really into football at the moment so we bought tickets to a college bowl game; the kids made a poster to try to get on TV but weren't successful; close and exciting game overall with TCU coming out on top; the TCU marching band leaders were also amusing during the game
Thursday, December 22
- Visit San Diego Zoo Safari Park - cool to see animals in a setting closer to their natural habitat; got to see a rhino running for the first time; surprisingly, the garden trail was everyone's favorite part of the day; the cheetah run was over-hyped and over-crowded
Friday, December 23
- Visit Cabrillo National Monument - great lookout point over San Diego and Coronado; the kids (especially AJ) enjoyed answering questions to become Junior Park Rangers
- Drive to Coronado
- Take the San Diego - Coronado Ferry round-trip - JD especially wanted to do this; beautiful day with nice views from the ferry
- Visit Coronado Beach - threw the football for a little bit on the beach; we'll be sure to return another time when it's a bit warmer; beautiful
- Visit Belmont Park - went on a bunch of rides as the grand finale; it was great that AJ is now tall enough to go on all the rides!
Saturday, December 24
- Drive home from San Diego - didn't hit traffic anywhere (yeah!)
All in all, I thought it was a great trip. There were rough spots for sure but, on balance, I think everyone had an enjoyable time.
Why Common Sense is Uncommon
I'm going through a bunch of old papers since I have some free time this week. One of the things that I came across were some notes from 18 months ago regarding a book I thought would be interesting to write. The working title at the time was "Why Common Sense Is Uncommon" or "Why Common Sense Isn't Common". I don't want to lose the notes so I'm posting them here in case I ever decide to return to this project.
- Define "common sense" - likely lots of definitions of common sense and lots of different opinions regarding what it would be in a given situation
- Why overriding parental instincts?
- Why a bunch of 150 IQ people in a room make a 75 IQ decision?
- Why we make things harder / more complicated than they need to be?
- Why have we taken common sense or judgement out of a lot of processes or decisions? Whose definition of common sense?
- IQ vs EQ
- Why do we question our own judgement?
- Peer pressure, keeping up with others, herd mentality
- Why do we buy things we know we can't afford?
- Why do we do things that we know going into it will end badly?
- Why does something seem totally obvious and "common sense" to one person but not to others?
- How can someone be really smart but lack common sense?
- Find examples of big and small decisions / situations where common sense didn't prevail
- Common sense guide to X
- Why is it that a lot of management / business frameworks / books seem obvious / common sense when we see them but they weren't obvious before that?
- Why isn't common sense common practice?
- Occam's razor - simplest solution is usually the right one
- Are there situations where a common sense approach / solution doesn't make sense?
- Why do we make things more complicated than they need to be by making decisions by committee? Like big family trying to decide what to do. No one wants to make the decision so no decision is made or it's an amalgamation of everyone's ideas. Trying to please too many people.
- Role of "following one's instincts" or "listening to one's gut" - when does it make sense, when can it get us into trouble and how do we know the signal is coming in clear vs our minds taking over and overriding our instinct / gut
- Even if something is obvious or common sense, why don't we do it? Are we worried about conflict (like firing someone or changing their role? Are we worried about not having enough data or evidence to back up our decision if it goes bad?
- Steve delC - a good theory is one that you attempt to disprove and can't
As I read back over these notes, this still seems like it would make for a good book. I'd be interested in what others think. Also, if someone takes this idea and turns it into a book before I can, please do me two favors: (1) make the book good and (2) mention me in the acknowledgments.
Sunday, June 05, 2011
Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed
A friend of mine posted this link on Facebook. I found it very meaningful so I am including it here on my blog for future reference. In case the page is taken down at some point, I am also copying the text in this page:
Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed
By Bronnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying)
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks,love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again,long before you are dying.
——————————————————————————
originally posted at http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html
Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed
By Bronnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying)
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks,love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again,long before you are dying.
——————————————————————————
originally posted at http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html
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